А Вас взяли бы в Кембридж?

Несколько лет назад, наверное, года три уже прошло с тех пор а то и больше, на просторах blogi.by был один очень интересный и специфический ресурс. Название его было e-Learner. И так как в блогосфере той поры компания собралась дружная (большая часть теперь ошивается на blog.tut.by, двое завели собственные сайты или блоги), то общались все со всеми. Захаживали мы и на этот блог. На e-Learner помещались материалы для скачивания: программы для изучения языка, аудиокниги и, чтобы блог не был скучным (а может автор был человеком с чувством юмора?), иногда помещались статьи довольно весёлого и слегка пикантного содержания. Комментариев на блоге практически не было, потому как читать на английском могли только я и ещё один учитель английского языка с ником poil. Смотрю сейчас — в компьютере какой-то странный документ висит. Что за он? Рассказ с e-Learner. Блог потом переехал куда-то на внешку, потому как варезные блоги перестали быть в почёте. Так следы того продвинутого, на мой взгляд, коллеги и затерялись во всемирной паутине. Ну что, хотите почитать?
Интересно, а Вас взяли бы в Кеймбридж? Меня бы точно не взяли.

A Smart Boy

A first-grade teacher, Ms SMITH (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, “Boy, what is your problem?”
Boy answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade! My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!”
Ms SMITH had enough. She took Boy to the principal’s office. While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms SMITH he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.
Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Boy: “9?.
Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Boy: “36?.
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, “I think Boy can go to the third-grade.”
Ms SMITH says to the principal, “I have some of my own questions.
Can I ask him?” The principal and Boy both agree.
Ms SMITH asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy, after a moment “Legs.”
Ms SMITH: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
Boy: “Pockets.”
Ms SMITH: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Ms SMITH: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Ms SMITH: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer…
Boy: Shake hands.
Ms SMITH: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.
Ms SMITH: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent.
Ms SMITH: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring.
Ms SMITH: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose.
Ms SMITH: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow.
Ms SMITH: What word starts with a “F” and ends in “K” that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck.
Ms SMITH: What word starts with a “F” and ends in “K” & if u don’t get it u have to use your hand.
Boy: Fork.
Ms SMITH: What is it that all men have one of it’s longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after they’re married?
Boy: Surname.
Ms SMITH: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
Boy: Heart.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
“Send this Boy to CAMBRIDGE University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!”

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