Vocabulary

Be desperate for – страшно хотеть
Shift – смена
Wallet – бумажник
remote control – пульт управления
flatmate – человек, совместно снимающий квартиру
to figure - считать, полагать (разг. Am )

It's late one afternoon and Marcie’s at the supermarket where she works. She's tired and desperate for her shift to end so she can go home. Her next customer is a middle-aged man. "Will you be paying by cash or card?" she asks him. "Credit card,” he says as he looks for his wallet in a bag he's carrying with him. But as he's getting it out, she notices that there's a TV remote control in there.
"Do you always take your TV remote with you when you go shopping?" she asks.
‘'No," replies the man, "but my flatmate didn't want to help me with the shopping, so I figured that this would be the worst thing I could do to her."